Empowered Leadership: Turning Toxicity into Opportunity
I spent 18 years working in social services and non-profits, primarily in leadership roles. This journey has been challenging. I've encountered toxic workplaces that made me question where all the supportive environments were—ones that foster mentoring and growth rather than fear and competition. I often wondered what it might look like to have formal succession planning that allowed for genuine leadership, devoid of the insecurity that usually drives management to prioritize control over collaboration.
In many of these experiences, leadership felt more like a facade. Managers wielded their titles as a means of power, often leading with fear instead of compassion. Managers created an environment where teams felt they needed to rally together for support, separate from their leaders. The emotional toll of such a toxic atmosphere was significant. It seeped into my personal life and affected my mental health, taking years for me to heal truly. Nevertheless, this period of struggle, and the courage it took to endure it, became a catalyst for change in how I approach leadership.
When I became an Executive Director, I hoped for a fulfilling opportunity. Instead, I was in a chaotic situation, juggling responsibilities I hadn't anticipated and working endless hours with 24/7 on-call. The board's demanding behaviour added to the stress of an already challenging transition. It was disheartening to witness an all-woman board—intelligent, capable women—lead from a place of authority rather than support.
“Their focus on control perpetuated the very culture I had hoped to escape”
I knew then that I wanted to start my own business supporting women; however, I needed to be in a better place to take on the challenge. I wanted to provide a safe, supportive space for women seeking guidance in their leadership journeys and create a culture where women had the strength and resources to leave toxic work environments.
I experienced a traumatic event within three months as acting Executive Director. Four women, relatively new to their volunteer roles, were present, and the stress was palpable since our previous leader had stepped down. Relationships suffered strain; the board expected operational control and was ill-prepared to govern effectively.
During the scheduled evening board meeting, I requested a salary increase to reflect my new responsibilities and the level of risk I was facing. I also stressed the need for trust and collaboration among the board members, which are crucial in any leadership role. After I finished speaking, a board member,, laughed loudly and slammed her balled fist on the table, telling me I had a lot of nerve asking for more money. She yelled at me for the next 45 minutes, mocked my education and experience, and questioned my ability to perform the role.
I stepped out to the restroom to collect myself, wiping away my tears and splashing water on my face before returning to the boardroom, where she continued her tirade. Not a single board member intervened or asked her to stop. Though she didn't attend any more meetings after that night, the toxic environment persisted, marked by power struggles.
The board president frequently emailed me late at night, sometimes at 3:00 a.m. When I mentioned that the notifications were waking me up since I was on call, she shrugged it off, noting that even ‘superintendents’ knew she was a night owl. I requested that she schedule her emails for 8:00 a.m. instead, but the next night, she sent another email at 1:00 a.m.
The board tried to undermine me, and I often reflect on how I managed to endure — and why I chose to stay. Ultimately, combined fear and a deep commitment to the leadership team and the individuals we served. I was determined not to give up on the mission we shared.
Through these experiences, I recognized that leadership is about creating an environment where everyone can thrive. I strive to help other women navigate their paths confidently and ensure they have the support they need.
If this experience resonates with you and you want to turn toxicity into opportunity, I invite you to visit my coaching services. Feel free to inquire about our promotional pricing and take the first step toward your transformation.
““Lead for Succeed Coaching is not just about professional development; it’s about building a community where women can lead authentically and collaboratively’’”
